2019 Christmas Stories, part two.
One week until this year’s 32nd-annual marathon!
As promised, here’s the second half of the Christmas Stories recorded exclusively for the 2019 edition of my Holiday Radio Show on 103.3 fm WPRB.
Part one can be found here!
Remember, the deadline for this year’s submissions is December 21st!
Seth Herzog – “Trying To Get Merry At Christmas”
Seth Herzog is a comedian and actor, who is currently a regular sketch performer and the resident comedian for NBC’s “Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon,” and formerly of “Late Night.”
He is the producer and host of the much-beloved, long-running downtown NYC comedy showcase “Sweet.”
Ike Turner – “Xmas Eve Mending”
A member of OUT, Minutes, WOWZA and a slew of other bands that escape me right now, Ike Turner lives and teaches in lovely Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Bill Chamberlain & Rachel Courtney – “Wild Mutation Christmas Eve story”
Wild Mutation was a record store in Philadelphia that closed at the end of 2019, owned and run by Bill and Rachel. This recording sets the scene for one Christmas Eve leaving the shop…
Jeep Ward – “Christmas Story”
A DJ/Turntablist for 20+ years, you can learn more about Jeep a/k/a DJ Halo here.
Nick Millevoi – “Happy Holidays”
South Jersey’s Nick Millevoi is a guitarist and composer whose music searches for the sonic cracks between jazz, rock and roll, noise, and modern composition. His latest project is “Streets of Philadelphia.”
Tobias Carroll – “Ghosts & Donuts”
Tobias Carroll is the author of three books: one novel, one story collection, and one work of nonfiction.
His newest book, Political Sign, was published by Bloomsbury as part of the Object Lessons series.
You can read his 2019 Xmas marathon piece here.
Kris and Mike Kennedy – “I Won’t Disappoint You”
Kris and Mike Kennedy are the rhythm section for Lefty’s Deceiver. Additionally, Kris is a filmmaker and Mike is a member of Static Shapes. They reside in Philadelphia.
Edith Frost – “S.A.D.”
Edith Frost has recorded a piece for each of the past eight marathons! “S.A.D.” is the latest and greatest. Edith Frost can be found on her website and/or Twitter.
The Rutabega – “Christmas Schimizzi”
South Bend, Indiana‘s The Rutabega – singer-songwriter-guitarist Josh Hensley and drummer Garth Mason – make some of the fullest, brightest sounds ever generated by just two people, weaving punchy, short pop songs and sweeping, ten-minute epics together seamlessly. This is either their fourth, fifth or sixth contribution to the marathon depending on who is counting.
SAVAK – “Merry Merry (First Time Caller)”
Sayeth SAVAK:
This is the 5th year in a row that we’ve hunkered down in our super fun, Superfund practice space in Gowanus, Brooklyn for an evening of mulled wine and cheap rhymes in honor of the finest DJ to emerge from Mercer County: Mister Jon Solomon!!
Sure, this music sounds nothing like what our band normally does, but really, our band would not normally play a holiday song, so why not jump off the deep end in a hand-quilted Santa outfit?
Inspired by Del the Funky Pete Shelley and a need to work in low-level references to all things random ’80s hardcore, let’s take away any focus on how cut-rate and off-time the “rapping” is and admire Michael “Jaws” Jaworski’s sweet falsetto, West Coast keyboard runs, and both funky and shredding guitar work. All that had to be done was to dare him to 1. Sing like Curtis Mayfield, 2. Slither some G-funk ivory tinkling, 3. Grease up some “Catfish” Collins gitter, 4. Skrizzle-dizzle a Burbank session player “Peg” solo. Dang if he didn’t nail them all. Surgically. An embarrassment of stitches.
Speaking of which, this made us laugh a lot. Hopefully you will, too. The holidays are weird. It’s good to keep things light, if you can. Call a friend, text a stranger, hug a neighbor, leave a big tip for the person who makes your egg & cheese, give the benefit of the doubt to the person most likely to annoy you, wink at your pet, tickle yourself with the absurdity of the human condition, treat yourself to a nap.
Or, at the very least, distract yourself for 5 minutes with a bit of our goofiness…
Merry, merry
Peter, Pauler
Long time listener
First time caller
Merry, merry
Queen of Scott’s
To DeSimon’s, McCloud’s
Joyeux Noël and bon mots
Welcome to holiday crime time tv
Where there’s a city solution
For every country teaser
And every geezer’s a butler
Every Richard’s a dick
A prick, a coffin, b-r-e-a-k
Beat steak medium rare essence
If you find it you grind it, man
We mean it, demean it
If you know your anger
Like Kenneth, Gwyneth
Paltry scorpios rising like lucifer
Sam I am
Son of a Mustang Sanford
Boredom is a reason
For teenagers to commit treason
Toxic reasons, season
Of the risk
Kamchatka Chaka Khan
Funk Shun Fiction The Faction
Steve Caballero
Yayo got the chi Cheech
And Chong
Gravity Bong Load
To the Rhodes of Randy
Randall with the plastic sandals
Hope springs eternal
Unlock the demons
Damon Che Guevara
Guadalajara can’t dance
Dance, dance, dance, dance, to the radio
Birdman
La Cage aux faux hawk
Ethan mini thin
Think tank
Cheap prank
Every trickster in Chicago
Knows ka-Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
45 Grave-y
Like Mr. Clean Steve Garvey
Riboflavin Flavored, Non-Carbonated, Poly-Unsaturated Blood
You ever seen C.H.U.D.?
More out than HUD
Talking Carson Ben not Johnny
Dipping in the Ben E.’s
King, QUEEN, Prince
Tone police violation
Tastemaker desecration
Boulevard of dream a little dream
-cicle, cycle, psycho
Suicidal saw your mommy
Kissing Santa Claus von Bülow
A new low, end theory
For the end times
Where’s Morris Day?
Morris the cat?
Boris the spider?
Soldier, Folgers, coffee achievers
Tomb of the unknown believers
Not true blue F.U.’s
With the Peer Police, Brutality
A conquest for a breath
Of fresh air
I need some
Records, Duane Rossignol
With the NYHC vinyl collection
Solution, pollution, Rosicrucian
Christian death dealing meth
Amphetamines to reptiles
In houses, huts
Jabba like Jeru
My driver is damaged
But he flies his flag
Out of convenience
Store front agnostic, acrostic
Poetry is the pits
Circles all the jerks into fits
Of depression, rejection
Anxiety, high as a kite, right?
Spring is around the corner
Don’t be a loner
Tis the season of the phone calls
To family and friends
To wish a giant jolly
Green rancher, on prancer and dancer
Even the necromancers and the freelancers
A lotta links to a lotta love
Lattes chai and dry
Above the mantles, like Mickey
Don’t let the creatures stir
Or the Siouxsie’s brrrr
With warmth and good will
SAVAK says, “Give yourself a moment to chill.”
Smell ya next year, punx…
Chest bumps to Solomon Jon
Who knows his yins from his jawns
And always love his moms
Jon & Maggie mic break!
Finally, during the 2019 edition of the 25-Hour Holiday Radio Show on 103.3 fm WPRB, my daughter Maggie joined me on-mic for her annual appearance.
